Rainbow Family

December 24, 2019.
Tokyo.

Is it recording?

Merry Christmas.

Look at this messy table.

Been like this since noon.

Some friends and their families came by
and we had a party.

In the evening, we went to another
family's place for a Christmas party.

We came back and started drinking
without cleaning up.

Right?

- What do you think?
- We should clean this up.

The place is a mess.

Even so, you said this has been
the happiest Christmas ever?

Did I say that?

You said this was your
happiest year.

Because we have Aru.
It's been the happiest.

You can eat it.

She has three parents.

Fumino is transgender.
He was born female.

Gon, tickle, tickle.

Gon is gay and
Fumino’s best friend.

In 2018, the three of them had Aru
and are raising her together.

They’ve been searching
for a way to create a family.

She's adorable, so precious.

It's not the same as
holding someone else's baby.

But it hasn't sunk in like,
"Ah, this is fatherhood."

"Is Gon really the father?"
I wrestled with doubt.

In our relationship, from Gon's point of view,
I'm not his partner.

I don't know.

In December 2020,
they welcomed their second baby.

The family is starting a new chapter.

I'm Fumino.

Honoyo.

Gon.

And Aru and Kino.

The three of us are raising them.

Aru, high five.

March 2020,
before the second child was born.

Today is Aru's
second Doll's Festival.

Time goes by so fast.
She's 16 months?

Soon, yes.

She's leaning forward.

Aru, won't you go sleep?

We play lullabies.
We get sleepy but Aru doesn't.

Only we're getting sleepy.
Go to sleep, Aru.

This is happiness.

Life is really interesting.

I used to be a girl in a skirt
and now I'm a dad.

It really is.

Fumino was the second of two daughters.

Ever since he can remember, he’d felt
something about his body was strange.

My mind was a boy's,
but my body was a girl's.

I was attending a girl's school.

I couldn't figure it out.

I came out to my dad here.

Fumino came out when he was 18.

It took a number of years
for his parents to understand.

I came out to Mom downstairs.

Searching for his identity in his 20s...

Fumino met Honoyo.

I got a call from Fumino.

"I'm going to a musical tomorrow.
Would you like to come?"

Afterward, he said, "Do you want
to go get a bite to eat?"

On our first date, he took me to lots of places
without asking what I wanted.

His approach was, "I like you, let's kiss."
I thought he was a bit shallow.

Yet he took me to all sorts of places
I'd never been to before.

It was like a social studies tour.
It was so much fun.

Honoyo’s parents didn’t approve
of their relationship.

They worried that
she wouldn’t have children.

I can't give her a child.
No matter how much I want to.

I had to face up to my sexuality.

They decided to have a child
using Gon’s sperm.

Good morning.

Gon lives by himself.
He helps out a few times a month.

It’s a present from Gon’s parents.

Aru, it's bigger than you are.
No, about the same.

- What is it?
- Unknown creature?

Aru, look here.

You should get going.

- Have fun.
- See you later.

Since he’s gay, Gon had
given up on having kids.

I realized how much
I like children.

That feeling was locked inside me.

I wanted to get involved
in having a child.

I thought we could communicate
and raise the child together.

Gon and Fumino work to promote
understanding of LGBTQ people.

For over a decade,
they’ve worked closely together.

Through our involvement
in LGBTQ activities, he and I had overcome difficulties
on a daily basis.

It wasn't all smooth sailing.

We talked about the things we disliked,
had trouble with.

We developed a strong, trusting relationship
in which we can overcome problems.

Having a child was unknown territory and
there'd be a lot to go through.

We thought we could move forward
by dealing with each issue as it came up.

That's why we asked Gon
to provide his sperm.

September 2020.

- Where and what is that?
- It's the skull and brain.

- Is the brain big?
- No, it's normal.

It's already this developed?

He's a pretty guy.

I'm happy about that.

Our home environment is
a little different.

I've always thought Aru needed to have a sibling
to complain about their parents with.

I don't know since I never had siblings,
but I think it's better for her.

Look, she brought a blanket.

Will you be a good older sister, Aru?

- Can't wait for the baby?
- Absolutely.

Why?

Having one is already so sweet.
What'll happen when there're two?

Ouch.
Aru, does it hurt?

It must hurt.

He brought ice.

- I'm healed.
- Great.

- It hurts.
- Oh, no.

I'm healed.

It hurts.

Oh, no.

Healed?

She does this 100 times a day.

Honoyo wants to convey something
before she gives birth.

With the second one, I want to place
a little more importance on my own life.

For two years,
I've put Aru ahead of my work.

I've changed shifts
and my working style so I can go to the daycare
whenever they call me.

They decided to raise Aru together
but Honoyo does most of the childrearing.

She’s had to greatly
reduce her working time.

I haven't been able to do the work
I've done all along.

It's been hard for me.

I can't work. Things rarely go smoothly.
She doesn't sleep.

I'm being pushed into a corner.
I can't focus on my work.

We want to do more, but you insist
you have to do it yourself, so we just give up.

OK, Aru. Whoo.
Sorry, my legs aren't very long.

That may be true.

But when the daycare told us to
pick Aru up as soon as possible, now it's different with COVID,

but when she was a baby
the two of you never had time.

You were off somewhere.

June 2019.

The year after Aru was born,
Fumino and Gon were extremely busy.

That year a group from Japan
participated for the first time.

It was a very important event
for Fumino and Gon.

At that time, in Japan...

The daycare called me again today.

Aru had a very bad stomachache
with vomiting and diarrhea.

I took her to the doctor, and now
she can't go to daycare for a week.

I don't know what to do.

The parade in New York continued
late into the night.

Fumino and Gon won't be back
for about two weeks.

Why'd they both have to go?
Only one should have.

Everyone's enjoying themselves.

What I really feel about parenting is that
of course I bore the child and am raising her, but the father also
has to be involved.

But naturally everything falls to the mother.
I feel that's very unreasonable and unfair.

With all this talk about LGBTQ human rights,
what about a mother's?

I want gender equality
to apply to childrearing.

I am now appealing to this household
for my rights as a mother.

Autumn 2020.

Fumino’s activities have been curtailed
because of the COVID pandemic.

I never used to cook, but when you
have a child, you end up cooking.

I really feel that childrearing is difficult
if you can't cook.

If it hadn't been for COVID,
I'd never have had this kind of time.

This is the 8th month, the 31st week.
One more month until the baby's born.

It's scheduled to be born
in a month and a half.

That's right.
He's making all this.

I'm so happy. Thank you.

- Can you eat two?
- I can.

Gon comes over only a few times a month.
It’s been a while since he’s eaten with them.

On this day Gon is going to
his hometown in Kanazawa.

Over the last few years, he’s been
focusing on activities there.

No one in Kanazawa was coming out.

When I was young, I wanted to flee
this conservative place.

Fumino and I participated
in the first exhibition.

It’s a photo exhibition of people
who’ve come out.

Since it's the moment when they're
coming out, everyone's very forceful.

In these photos,
they show their true selves.

One incident was the spark
for Gon’s activism.

In 2015,
a university student died.

He was suffering because his classmate
had revealed that he was gay.

Gon had been a student there.

I heard from people who knew him that
he was cheerful and fun to be with.

His family couldn't understand
why he'd died.

His life and situation were like mine.

When he was a student, Gon never
told anyone he was gay.

A lot of gay and lesbian jokes came up
in daily conversation.

I'd laugh and cover up the truth about myself.
I'd laugh with my friends.

It was a way to protect myself.

Increasing understanding of LGBTQ people
has become Gon’s life work.

I'd appreciate your comments
on the awareness survey results.

He holds a study session for Diet members
seeking to promote laws protecting LGBTQ rights.

We've invited the family of the student
who passed.

His sister and mother are here.

On August 24, 2015, my brother
left this world.

The days when we discussed
our future, fought, that I thought would continue,
suddenly ended.

Around 25% of sexual minorities
experience damage from being outed.

Those 25% are someone's loved ones.

Someone's sibling, child, friend.

Precious lives are lost due to
a lack of knowledge and understanding.

I hope for a society where one can
live with peace of mind, where my brother
could have lived.

I ask for your support.

When Aru grows up, if she falls in love with a same-sex partner,
or has a friend who does,

I hope it will be treated like
it's no big deal.

Late October 2020.

Honoyo is rushed to the hospital.

Aru, Mama isn't here now.

The baby may be born early,
so she'll be in the hospital for a month.

She said, "I'll just go to the hospital."
But we can't meet because of COVID.

We miss her.

Honoyo takes care of Ten all the time.

I think this is the first time
I've properly cleaned up for Ten.

Ten, you must miss her too.

Now we're going to
assemble the baby's crib.

Since Honoyo is in the hospital,
the daddies are doing what we can.

Aru, let me have it next.

That's good.

It's done.
Great job, Aru.

What're you doing?

What bothers me a little,
like Honoyo brought up, is that among the three of us,
Gon, me, and Honoyo,

there are some differences
in our attitudes.

Before we get too busy with the second child,
I want to share these matters with Gon.

In the past we were really close,
but after her birth, some distance opened up
in our communication.

How can I say...

Frankly speaking,
it's very hard to discuss.

You and Honoyo are always talking
and making decisions.

Whenever I propose something,
it's like I'm just testing the waters.

For me...

I feel sorry about that.

It's not only me that has this child.
We have Aru because of you.

I'm with Aru almost every day.

It's like... the person who spends
the most time with her becomes the parent.

I'd hate it if it becomes OK
with or without you attending.

If so, we could have just
gone to a sperm bank.

But we chose this way.

This situation alone is really miraculous.
I'm grateful for it.

It really is a miracle.

I wonder what it'd be like if I lived with a child
and was always with her.

I don't know why but...

I don't feel like I can say,
"I'm taking Aru to go meet a friend."

I've never once introduced her
as "my child."

You might say, "Why won't you
call her your child?"

I wonder if I can.

A relationship in which we can say
what we want to say...

How's my relationship with Gon?
I can't completely open up.

What stance should I take
when I'm talking to him?

It's awkward.

He's more than a friend.

Already we're known as the "three parents."
That's how people see us.

But we're not at that level.
So how should we talk to each other?

Let's count from one.

One, two...

Gon continues to search for
his role in the family.

You want me to pick you up?

I know that the greatest strain
has been shifted onto Honoyo.

I can't be on an equal footing with them.

It's about spending time
as well as our relationship.

It's difficult to have a situation
where the three parents are always equal.

The situation isn't equal, but I'm thinking
about what I can do in other areas, what my presence means.

December 2020, second child is born.

They've come home safely.

He was born four, five days ago?

It's five days.

Aru, let me hug you.
I missed you.

You've gotten heavy.

I missed you because
I couldn't see you.

Aru, good girl.

Good girl.

Good morning.

One night has passed
since this new baby came home.

Good morning.

Good morning, Aru.

Good morning.

Why are your eyes so swollen?

Last night was difficult.

We slept separately.
Me with the baby, and Aru with Papa.

Aru had a bad dream
and cried all night.

I thought she wanted milk so I brought her
some, but she didn't want it.

What was she saying?

Mama, Mama, no...

She kept lifting her arm.

Maybe she was reaching for something
but Mama wasn't there.

Mama isn't going anywhere, Aru.

It's all right.

- Are you here, Mama?
- I'm here.

Are you here, Mama?

I'm here.

Is Mama here?

I'm sorry, Aru.
It's not your fault.

It's Mama's.

It's Mama's fault.
I'll never leave you.

Mama and Aru aren't to blame.

I can't take this.

This is about having
the second baby...

That's right.

Your first meeting.

He's so cute.

How's that?

Looks like it feels good.

His face is so peaceful.

Isn't it great?

Let's decide his name.

- Did we write down?
- I think so.

How about "Io?"

Like in "io kessuru."

It means, make up your mind.
Face your fate.

He doesn't have to.

It's kind of heavy.

I came up with something.
This is good.

What?

"Kino" from "ki no muku mama ni."
(follow your heart) We wrote that somewhere.

"Aru" from "as things are," and
"Kino" from "follow your heart."

That's good. Great.

I like it. Let me see his face
with Kino in mind.

He looks like a Kino.

Let's decide on Kino.

No objections.

Since we've chosen the name,
we should have a meeting.

If we don't talk face-to-face,
nothing will change.

I hate not being understood.

I know some things are impossible,
if we aren't living together.

Or even if we were,
some things can't be shared.

Your stage in life now has
reached a dead end?

It's nothing more or less than
you haven't been able to do...

I was in the hospital
for one month this time.

You tried so hard to manage things
and took over for me.

I was glad to know I didn't
have to bear the whole burden.

I was worried, but from the 2nd week,
I was like, "Do your thing."

I felt at ease, and I believe
I can depend on you.

I had to experience it
to understand.

We can't think, "It doesn't
do any good to talk about it."

Since we've made this choice, we have to
follow through without running away.

January 2021.

Honoyo is intending to go
back to work in the spring.

Good morning.

Gon has started coming over
nearly every day.

Aru, are you hungry?

One day she eats,
but the next she doesn't.

Aru likes tomatoes
dipped in apple juice.

She eats quite a bit of this.

I want Gon to be able to cook.

I've always wanted to say,
"Aru, you're staying with Gon today."

Then the subject of meals arises.

If you don't put in extra effort,
children won't eat.

So rather than suddenly
looking up recipes, getting a little used to cooking
enables you to try different things.

So he said,
"This year I'll make miso soup."

I wonder how it will turn out.

We're cooking now.
I hope you're able to eat soon.

This is Kino's first baby food.

I'll feed him.

You're going to feed him?
Can you do it?

- Said he doesn't need it.
- No? Try again.

Mama isn't here today.

Gon took them to the park.
We're having lunch now.

I'm amazed at Kino's appetite.

Autumn 2021,
the family has made a big decision.

Next spring they’ll move to countryside
so the children can go to better schools.

I myself wanted to go to that school.
Great concept, beautiful environment.

A big library, lots of open space and nature.

What I liked most was the workshop.

Hammers were lined up from
really small ones to really big ones.

They'll have so many options.

It was a perfect, wonderful environment.

December 2021.

Gon is making a chicken dish Aru likes
for a weekend picnic.

I overdid it.

She said she liked meat,
but not vegetables.

But Fumino and Honoyo
would get mad at me.

I'm wondering what to do
about vegetables.

You cook them once.
I see.

It looks perfect, but...

It's great, really delicious.

So good.

Picnic day.

It’s Kino’s first birthday.

He’s walking in shoes for the first time.

Look at him.

Kino's really good.

He's good at it.

Look at how much I brought.

Are you going to eat it all, Aru?

Here you go.

The onion's nice.

I'm really happy, grateful.

There are some frustrating aspects.

I don't mean to say having three parents
is a perfect situation.

We have our conflicts.

So rather than going ahead
too quickly and getting exhausted, I think the way we're going now
works for us.

When do people become parents?

I'm often asked that,
but I don't think that's the point.

Seeing them laughing happily, growing little by little,

learning new words, going forward when they could
only go backward.

Their lives in that moment, and the future,
there'll be many more like that.

Each of those moments
confirms we're a family.

I think a family has
a common destiny.

Deciding that all three of us have
to raise them made it tougher.

I want to live my life,
and Fumino is living his.

The children and Gon
will live their lives.

The point is how to balance all that.

Moving forward will involve trial and error.
We have a long journey ahead.