Fighting Through Dance: Ahmad Joudeh / Dancer

Direct Talk

Dancer Ahmad Joudeh.

A guest performer
at the Dutch National Ballet,

his muscular beauty
and exceptional physical skill

have drawn attention
from across the world.

"Dance or Die"
NTR/Roozbeh Kaboly

Ahmad is originally from Syria.

He was born and raised in a camp for
Palestinian refugees in southern Damascus.

Civil war has continued in Syria since 2011.

Ahmad became the target of extremists

looking to shut down
cultural and artistic expression.

He has received countless threats.

Once I had this

message that they said they are
going to cut my head and make me an example.

So I went and I got a tattoo
on my neck, here:

"Dance or Die."

It's where they cut the head.

"Dance or Die"
NTR/Roozbeh Kaboly

Ahmad did not give in,

pouring his defiance into his dancing.

Why dance at the risk of his own life?

What does dancing mean to Ahmad?

Fighting Through Dance

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Since 2016, Ahmad has lived
in Amsterdam in the Netherlands,

and performed around the world
as an independent dancer.

He was born to a Syrian mother

and Palestinian father.

He first became interested in dance
at eight years old.

After seeing a troupe of girls
dancing ballet at a school concert,

he began trying to replicate their movements.

The dancing in our culture
is mostly for women.

There is dancing for men, but the folklore.

It's like the traditional folklore dancing.
But ballet?

They don't even think about it.

Being a dancer, also a male dancer,

it's very much of a challenge there.

With his mother's blessing,

Ahmad joined Syria's
only dance academy at 16.

When his father found out,

he faced fierce opposition.

He would stop me from going to school,
burned my book,

burned my dance clothes.

Despite this,

Ahmad did not give up on learning to dance.

With dancing, I felt
I am more often existing person.

I grew up as a stateless refugee in a country

that most of the people there considers me

that I don't belong to this country.

So to me it was a little challenge,

that I wanted to

get a place in this society

that I think this is my place.

The Syrian civil war began in early 2011.

One year later,

the refugee camp where
Ahmad's family lived was attacked,

and they lost their home.

The family who were there survived,

one of them is my brother,
my grandma, two of my uncles,

so they survived, luckily,

but I lost five people of my family.

Three uncles and two cousins.

We only had what we were wearing,
so we lost everything.

Everything remained in there.

"Dance or Die"
NTR/Roozbeh Kaboly
2016

We used to have

a house at this street.

Yes.

Before.

But actually,

I can't know

where is it.

They took everything from me.

But no one could take my body.

That's what I have, and

honoring it,

and using it for the dance,
where I feel safe,

and I feel free,

and I feel

this is how I exist.

"Dance or Die."

It was after this tragedy
that he had these words tattooed on his neck.

Dance or Die

His face had become recognizable
from dance performance posters.

Soon, he was receiving threats
from extremists.

So once I was waiting the bus,

and then they shoot by my side,

and they send me a message on my phone

that they want to shoot me in my leg,

not to kill me; to make me suffer.

They said they are going to cut my head
and make me an example,

so I went and I got a tattoo
on my neck, here:

"Dance or Die."

It's where they cut the head.

And I wanted it to be the last thing
they can see from me.

I think extremists
wants to stop every artist,

not only dancing,

because art is something against their

thoughts and their beliefs.

Palmyra ruins

In 2015,

as the fighting intensified,

ISIS destroyed
the world heritage site of Palmyra,

which dated back to the Roman Empire.

"Dance or Die"
NTR/Roozbeh Kaboly
2016

The following year,

Ahmad and his mother visited the site.

Ramziah

He was looking for one spot in particular.

The Roman amphitheater
that escaped destruction.

Ahmad danced on the stage here
as a protest against the extremists,

and as a requiem to those who were lost.

Extremists used it to kill people there.

And they used

underaged, let's say children,

ISIS used children
to shoot people on that stage.

I wanted to go dance in Palmyra

because I wanted to tell these people,
the extremists,

that this theater is for art,
it's not for killing people.

That was my message behind it.

I believe like the artist has
the same duty like a soldier.

Like, if we go on, we're fighting for
the culture and art in our country.

And the soldiers are
fighting for peace, but

a country without culture and art
is a country not worth fighting for.

And that's where I felt that
this is my responsibility.

I want to keep this alive.

His performance in the amphitheater
was captured by a Dutch filmmaker,

and broadcast on national television.

The director of the Dutch National Ballet
saw the performance

and invited Ahmad to the Netherlands
to work on a piece together.

The invitation came just three months before
he was due to start national military service.

Well when I received the invitation
I didn't believe.

How would you give me a visa
without a passport?

I mean for Arab countries it works,

but I didn't know it would work for Europe.

Because like, when that happened, I was like

five years of war,
five years of losing my house.

I was just focusing on my studies,
and how do I survive?

That was all my life.

My world was too small.

He wavered over whether to follow his dream,

leaving his family in war-torn Syria.

But his mother was resolute.

She said like, you are leaving me anyway.

Or you go to the army and
I don't know if you are alive or not.

Or you go live your dreams, and
I will see that you are living your dreams.

Ahmad moved to Amsterdam in 2016.

He's studied with the Dutch National Ballet

and dance academies ever since.

Dutch National Ballet
Marc Haegeman

It was with the Dutch National Ballet
that he made his stage debut.

Dutch National Ballet
Marc Haegeman

UNHCR Nansen Refugee Award Ceremony (2018)

His own experiences growing up as a refugee

have inspired him to promote
greater understanding of their situation.

I try to be a voice

for these refugees
because I grew up one of them,

Today it's us, tomorrow maybe it's you.

Hopefully not.

So we should treat each other the same,

and we should help each other.

It doesn't matter who we are.

That's what I believe.

It's Ahmad's seventh year in the Netherlands.

He's always thinking of
his mother and family in Syria.

Of course, like,
I was worried about them all the time.

Especially my mom.

The first year, she was attacked there,
because of one dance I did.

The dance I did
in front of the European parliament.

The Arab people like,
as a conservative people,

they were angry
because I was dancing shirtless.

They broke everything,
they stole everything from the house.

Luckily she was not there.

And then she survived.

Even now, Ahmad does his best
to talk to his mother every day.

- Hi. How are you?

- Hi. How are you?
- I'm good.

- Where are you?

- Where are you?
- I'm at home.

Every time I talk to my mom,

the whole topic is about the cold,

and about how expensive the food is, and

how people are struggling,

and how do we have heating
for the students in the schools?

So there is no electricity,

there is no gas, water, heat.

So people are really struggling.

12 years after the civil war began,

the suffering continues.

I also say "The forgotten Syria,"

because people now forgot.

What does Ahmad's mother think of his work?

I'm so happy his hard work
has led to good results.

I'm happy to have supported
him all these years.

Today, Ahmad focuses his energy on
teaching dance to children in need,

such as those orphaned by the war
and other circumstances.

I teach them
how to use their bodies in movements

that can bring them joy or confidence

or power in accepting themselves.

And they teach me how to stay and
remain connected to the child within me.

And they appreciate each other
as who they are,

physically and artistically,

not as who they are

in term of where you are from
or something like that.

In 2022,

he began studying for his degree
in teaching dance.

He dreams of returning to Syria
to establish a ballet company.

Dance gave me a
very strong voice that I could

tell people and try to make them aware
of what is happening

in the world where I come from.

It was my nationality, my passport.

It saved my life, and it gave me a voice.

And look where I am today.

And without dancing,
I'm not sure I would stay alive, even.

Four days after this interview,

a massive earthquake
struck southern Turkey and Syria.

The death toll has risen to over 50,000.

Like the first two days of the earthquake

I felt paralyzed.

I felt like I cannot do anything.
And very helpless.

It's a horrible feeling to feel helpless;

to feel so far away from your people
while they are suffering.

Ahmad's family was unharmed,

but he quickly began fundraising

and performing at charity events
focused on this tragedy.

I am happy to be their voice,

and to tell the truth of
what is happening on the land in there.

By my dance
I can transform a certain situation,

like a certain feeling, a certain situation.

I hope this war will end,
I hope these problems will just stop.

There's a phrase that holds
special meaning for Ahmad.

It comes from an American playwright.

It's, "The opposite of war
is not peace...it's creation."

That's a quote by Jonathan Larson.

It is so meaningful.
It is because creation is...

I believe in it.
I chose it because I believe in it.

"The opposite of war
is not peace...it's creation."