Kana, the Psychologist Making Society a Safer Place - Freedom, Fight, Future

Hi, I’m Mitarashi Kana.

I’m a clinical psychologist.

I usually work as counselor, providing therapy.

Besides that, I’m Vice CEO of NPO Mimosas.

Thank you for having me.

Check out these 5 frames of love for me and you.

Compared to other countries, it’s still not common
for people to take mental health seriously in Japan.

I realized that it was sexual abuse. So, I finally
understood what was going on in my past.

It’s important to remind society that it’s not
the victims who cause the assault.

Kana is like a sanctuary.
I felt so safe talking to her.

Today, I’m doing a live stream & discussion
about mental health care.

The theme is “Mental health for working people.” - Kana is coming in.

Hi, all.

5, 4, 3, 2...

Understanding psychology would benefit us all.

Everyone can go through periods of mental instability
or have depressive episodes if it’s ignored.

I really don’t like the terms “mentally strong”
or “mentally weak.” Every person’s mental health lies
on a highly personalized scale.

So, in my opinion, it’s important to know
there’s no “weak” or “strong.” She’s very active on social media.

As a psychologist, she’s not just working behind
closed doors, she’s facing society head-on.

I can imagine she’s had a lot of experiences
and been through tough times.

That’s why she can approach people with empathy.

As she’s talking, I feel she is going
to embrace me in a hug.

That’s a wrap.

Thank you, everyone.

We’re in Kumamoto City today.

I lived here till I was 4 or 5.

This was my first preschool.

I can still remember it.

I used to play in this log house.

The memories are so clear in my mind.

- What kind of kid were you?

I was naughty.

I liked yelling “boo!” and
teasing adults with bugs.

I remember there were a lot of
adults in my childhood.

The island of Kyushu where I grew up has
an image of being quite patriarchal.

There’s even an expression about
“manly” Kyushu boys.

The Kyushu community has a certain ideal for a girl:
To behave proper and get married off.

I couldn’t understand why they
pushed those ideals on me.

I remember being forced to
conform to gender biases.

For example, being told I had to “act like a girl,”
or wear “girlie” clothes.

I felt that if I didn’t do what the adults said,
I would cease to exist in their eyes.

Hey, Carl.

Kana knew what she wanted.

She was a kid who had her own
way of doing things.

When we’d go to a toy store, she’d run to
the snakes, crocodiles, and other reptiles.

I wanted to buy her teddy bears
and cute things for little girls.

But eventually, I gave up and
bought her what she wanted.

Kana hasn’t changed a lot since then.
She still does what she wants to do.

I am the way I am because of the adults
who pushed those biases on me as much as those who accepted me for who I was.

Being confronted with both, I was able to settle
on the best version of myself. Now, I’m at peace.

To me, “Freedom” is...

Something you have to grab onto yourself.

My work is basically sitting in a small room
and listening to the client.

To reset myself, I like to come to
wide open spaces with no people.

That’s how I let go.

There was a girl who I dated before.

Her name was Miki.

Kana started dating a woman when she was 23.

If I were to try to categorize it,
I’d call myself pansexual.

It means that a person’s gender or
background doesn’t matter; if I feel some natural attraction, I will pursue
them as a lover or partner.

When I first matched on the app with my former
partner Miki, I wanted to meet SO badly.

That’s when I first felt pansexual.

I want to see her! I want to hang out with her!
I want to know her! Like that.

It was totally different to how I’d felt before.

Kana and Miki posted about their daily lives on social media.

Bon appétit!

This is for a job well done.

It’s so delicious.

No matter how bad my day was, I feel better
when I’m in your arms and petting our cats.

- Come here, Omochi! Come here, Manju!

At first it was just for us to document our own lives.

But I got comments like, “I’m gonna
show this to my kid when they come out.” And I was very happy.

However, Japan still doesn’t
change their equality laws.

And systemic discrimination lingers on.

The people who watched our videos were probably
looking for some kind of role models to get advice and help from.

Why is it so meaningful to see a same-sex
couple out in the open?

Because we are swimming against the tide? Because
they think it makes our bonds even stronger?

“Gay couples are used to withstanding adversity,”
is the impression straight people have of us.

But it’s not fair. Nothing is different between
hetero and homosexual relationships.

We date and split up like all couples do.

Kana and Miki separated in the spring of 2022,
after 6 years of dating.

Because I met Miki, I saw my life as one worth living for.
And no matter the end, having had a partner like
that is my life’s greatest fortune.

“I support you guys, even if you go your own ways!” “Thanks to you guys, I stopped feeling guilty of
being LGBTQ and have embraced my sexuality.”

“There’s no difference between gay and straight couples!” Splitting up was a mutual decision of respect.

And the fact that Japanese law doesn’t allow
for the marriage of same-sex couples, led us to reconsider our relationship repeatedly.

Marriage for same-sex
couples is not allowed
under the current law in Japan.

We’d think, “We should hang in there.”
Or, “Be strong, it will all be fine.” But isn’t that a weird way to live? The government
should take the responsibility to fix it.

Today I’m doing a photoshoot
for a magazine article.

In the article, I’ll discuss marriage equality.

Joining me is Saki, who is a lawyer
and activist for marriage equality.

She also runs the Marriage
for All Japan Association.

I’m same-sex myself.

So, when I was younger, I didn’t think
I could get married.

It wasn’t even an option in my brain.

So, I planned my life out accordingly.

June 2022: A lawsuit claiming that,
“Denying marriage to same-sex
couples is against the constitution,”
was dismissed in an Osaka court.

When it was dismissed, I didn’t feel “We didn’t
get our rights.” I felt, “Our rights were stolen.” I finally realized that the choice for me to
have a marriage was taken away from me.

Straight people ask me why I’m so concerned
about changing the law of marriage.

The issue is that being able to make a decision
amongst many choices is what makes us human.

And that is a right we should all have. So, the
government not giving us options is a huge problem.

Everyone’s love is valued the same,
no matter if you’re gay or straight.

And even though it’s the same, this situation
shifts one side’s value down.

So, is that really the right interpretation
of the constitution?

I’d like to know.

Why is it important for us to think of
“other” people’s problems?

It’s because in doing so, we bring
awareness to our own issues.

We never know when we could be
the one fighting for our rights.

And our actions might lead to positive
change for social minorities.

That’s why I keep fighting for marriage equality.
My dream is to get married someday, too.

- Thank you so much.

That was a great talk.

I’m happy I could share so many opinions.

To me, “Fight” means...

To get more options on how to live my life.

On this day, we had a photoshoot for Mimosas.

We asked some influencers to join, to raise
awareness for sexual consent and abuse together.

We’ve invited a transgender man,
a same-sexual couple, a lesbian, etc.

It’s a very diverse group of people.

- Look at this.
- It’s cute.

- That’s beautiful, let’s take it.

Whether as a woman, or now as a man,
it’s important to me to be vigilant about
raising awareness on sexual abuse in Japanese society.

We shall unite to say NO to all sexual abuse.
We will also provide a safe place for those victims.
Let’s strive for a peaceful future for our children.

I do have a tiny goal.

I want to have kids in my future, and I am
drawing a map to this in my mind.

I hope that as a future parent, I can open a textbook
with my kids and see how far we’ve come.

And show that I fought for the change,
with so many others.

Kana!

You’re scratching the floor, be careful.
Get out of there, quick!

Otherwise, no meal for you.

To me, the “Future” means...

Stepping up, day by day.

And at each stage, I hope to think, “How nice, things are changing for the better.”